Payback
by merlinandfreyaFTW
Summary: Based off of a deleted scene, this is a oneshot,has no slash whatsoever, is a bit crack!ish, and is filled with friendship. In which Merlin's on fire, Gwaine has a unicorn and Arthur decides it's time for a little payback.


a/n the idea for this is from a deleted scene from Merlin. You don't have to watch it, but it might not make sense if you don't. i tried to put on the link but it wouldn't work, so just type in 'Merlin deleted scene chamber pot' into you tube instead. oh, by the way, it's from the 'curse of Cornelius Sigan' episode, so Cedric will be mentioned.

WARNING: don't watch if you squeal like a little girl at the sight of fake pee (which is actually just water)

DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own Merlin, but I'm working on that. ON WITH THE STORY!

Merlin sighed as he saved his friend from the falling tree, his eyes flashing from blue to gold in a second. He almost wanted to let the tree fall, just to teach Gwaine a lesson. They were on a hunting trip, and the inevitable had happened: Gwaine had gotten drunk _again. _

It was time to eat dinner around a fire. To be perfectly honest, the Knights of the Round Table, though they were fearless warriors, often acted like schoolboys on a camping trip when they went on quests together. They also may, or may not have had a sort of pillow fight that night because s_omeone_ drank the last of Arthur's water, and then all hell had broken lose. Gwaine could easily fend off four or five bandits, but pillow fights left him exhausted, and he had to drink at least three pints of mead to 'keep his strength up'. Of course, it had nothing to do with the fact that he was a drunkard who only seemed to do reckless things when alcohol was involved. The list included: calling Arthur a princess in public, jumping off 10 feet castle walls, and (this is the most stupid) challenging Percival, who could snap his neck like a twig, to a fight. Of course, _Merlin _wasn't the reason Gwaine could free style bungee jump off of castle walls and land on the ground unscathed; that idea was ridiculous!

Right now, he was galloping in circles around the fire. Yes, you heard right, _galloping._ After they had eaten a meal of roasted pheasant (it would have probably been marshmallows roasted on sticks, but those didn't exist yet) he had drunk another pint of mead, and had found an invisible unicorn. Well, Gwaine thought it was invisible, but the truth was there wasn't actually anything there. Goodness knows why normal horses weren't good enough for him, but the man seemed to have a fascination with the ones that had horns on their head. Meanwhile, his own horse was staring jealously at the log/unicorn that Gwaine holding between his legs while prancing (and nearly falling) in the fire. Suddenly, he stopped, mid gallop, and stared at Merlin, a look of utter horror on his face.

"Merlin! Why are you on fire?" he cried, waving at the flames that only he could see on top of Merlin's head. Merlin rolled his eyes, long used to his friend's antics.

"Well gee, I don't know Gwaine. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you're incredibly drunk right now." He replied, his voice oozing with sarcasm. Gwaine, however, was too busy frantically trying to find something to douse the flames on his friend's head. Merlin couldn't help but smile. It just goes to show how loyal Gwaine was for being concerned about his friends even when he was intoxicated. Merlin would have, of course, done the same thing if Gwaine was on fire, real or not.

Arthur, who was watching the whole thing, suddenly remembered the episode that had happened a while back. After it was proved that Cedric was a no good thief, he realized how harshly he had treated Merlin, and didn't have the heart to put him in the stocks after the servant accidentally spilled urine all over him. Merlin was, after all, his best friend (though the King would never admit it because of the well known fact that he is a prat). But Arthur was the one who had to walk through the castle covered in strange smelling liquid, and he could see an opportunity for revenge here. It was just too perfect.

He hastily ran into his tent, and came out carrying a bucket that had a foul odour coming out of it. Careful not to spill anything, he handed it over to the despairing Gwaine, who couldn't find any water anywhere, and quick as a flash, Gwaine dumped the liquid over Merlin's head.

Gasping, the warlock spluttered out "what…what was that for?" shaking his head wildly like a wet dog in an attempt to try to get some of the stuff off of him. Smirking at his servant, Arthur gave a one word reply "Payback."

In a way, this was Merlin's fault. At least, that's what Arthur told himself when Merlin stormed into his tent and refused to speak to the King for the rest of the trip. He was the one who had drank Arthur's water, and the whole not-pillow-fight wouldn't have happened if he hadn't done that, and the Gwaine might not have had the excuse to drink so much. Yes, this was all Merlin's fault. Arthur was just thinking this when a branch mysteriously fell from a tree. He leaped away from tree, yelping, and ended up doing a pirouette in mid air in order to avoid the branch. Hmm. Strange. Whilst the knights covered their mouths and tried not to laugh, in his tent, Merlin seemed to find something absolutely hysterical, and his laughter flowed freely through the air. One would almost think that it was him who had made the branch fall.

As the knights rode on their horses back to Camelot, (all but one; Gwaine had taken his 'unicorn'. And he wasn't even drunk!) Merlin decided that maybe payback wasn't so bad after all.

a/n: please review Anon reviews are accepted. Just tell me what you liked/hated, or if it made you smile, or maybe even laugh. This is my first time, so any sort of criticism is welcome. NO flames, please, just constructive criticism. thank you for taking the time to read this, i hope you enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed writing it :)


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